My daughter’s first birthday is only two months away. Which means that it is time to start searching Pinterest for cakes to ruin for her and to look for party themes that I will never actually take the time to plan.
This was a big project and had a deadline so my kitchen had junk everywhere for a month. So it was safe to say that I had been a little miffed at him for more than three days. But, what did this mean for my relationship? Did I love my husband? What an existential dilemma. I needed answers. And like everyone does when they have a crisis in life, I turned to the internet for answers.
Luckily my friends at allthetests.com had just what I needed. A quiz for people in my situation. An online quiz called “Are you like him or LOVE him (girls only).” Thank goodness it was for girls only. I wouldn’t want something that might think I’m a dude. And with these type of quizzes, it is important that they know your sex because they are extremely accurate and there is not much room for error. I mean, take this first question:
This question is clearly meant for ladies only. None of those emojis look like gentlemen. The yellow smiley is clearly a girl. My favorite part about this question is that it doesn’t even relate to the quiz. I could choose any of those clearly female animations to describe almost any part of my day. At the time I was answering the question my baby was screaming and my two year old was whining because I wouldn’t give him chocolate for breakfast. I chose number 3.
As I progressed through the quiz, it became apparent that I should not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Although the first question may have been irrelevant, the rest were spot on and would clearly show the level of affection I felt for my husband. For example: Well, anyone who knows me knows the story of how I relied that I like my husband. But there wasn’t an option for got a little drunk and told him “I like you and I don’t need anymore friends, so make a choice.” I guess it is kind of a combo of one, two, and three (the night is a little foggy, that’s why number three comes into play). Clearly this question is going to get to the heart of my feelings.
After reminiscing, I got to some more hard hitting questions. That is what you can count on all the tests for, questions that make you think, like this one:
The all-knowing, grammatically meticulous quiz creator warned me that I must answer truthfully on this specific question (I lied on the rest) so I knew it was serious and would get to the crux of my marital state. Well, and the truth is, my husband I don’t have too much in common, but I do think we make a good couple. Oh no! A conundrum. I needed to answer truthfully but two answers were truthful. I thought back to my years as an educator and test prep training. Were there any choices I could eliminate? Well, I never use all caps so choice C could go. I was left with A and B. All my friends seems like quite the generalization and choices with all or never are rarely correct, so A it is. This test is proving to be more stressful than I first imagined.
So I kept going through the thought provoking questions until I got to this amazing one:
Shy is not an adjective that anyone would use to describe my husband and I am not totally crazy pants, so options 2 and 3 are out. We do talk about a lot of stuff, but I can’t say I remember all of it. Luckily this question did not admonish me to reply truthfully so I picked option one.
After painstakingly going through each and every thought provoking and well written question, it was time for the best part. The results. My Pinterest created life dilemma would be solved. I would finally know for sure, do I love my husband?